Crayon Meltdown

I had this romantic idea of recycling crayons for my daughter. I’d already done it before; once using a muffin tin in the oven and twice using the microwave. The easiest way was using the muffin tin, but my daughter didn’t really like the circle shaped crayons. The other times I used ice cube trays, except the cubes are sticks. Yes, that makes no sense. Moving on, I remember the crayons melting easily, but apparently the microwave at our new place isn’t powerful enough and the crayons took forever to melt. I was halfway through when I decided to quit. In fact, the last pieces are still trying to melt in the microwave as I type this. If you want to read how to recycle crayons with a sissy of a microwave, read on.

First, excitedly gather all the broken crayons you can find. Be sure to check the couch cushions, the car and your purse. I forgot to check in my purse, but that doesn’t matter now, does it? Next, peel the paper off the crayons. This will take a while. Don’t forget to clean under your nails when you’re done. After that, separate them into colors or any combination you want and put them into little paper cups. Put the cups in a shoe box so your little one won’t get to them.

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After about three weeks, when you realize your kid is drawing with chalk because she can’t find her crayons and is making a pile of colorful dust on the floor, take out the paper cups. You won’t find them because you put them in a shoe box. When you finally find them, break them up as much as you can and put the cup in the microwave for two minutes. Take a plastic spoon and stir the melted crayons. You can’t, can you? You need to repeat that two-minute part many times. When it’s finally melted, carefully pour the liquid crayons into the mold. Realize the crayons weren’t really melted because chunks have fallen into the mold. Breathe.

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Remember you read something somewhere about putting a cup of water in the microwave because uh… science. Then, make a sort of double boiler with some Tupperware. There is no picture of this because I don’t think it really helped. Keep going because by God, your child will have crayons today. Try to layer the colors for a fun effect.

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Or not. Continue melting and pouring until you don’t have any crayons left or until you can’t take it anymore. Pop your new crayons out of the trays and they are ready to go. Here’s how mine turned out:

The Good

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The Bad

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The Turd

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Finally, pat yourself on the back and vow to never do this again and just buy new crayons. Then again, it may be the crayon fumes talking and you’ll try this again soon.

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